Bundles of Care
WHILE EVERYONE FINDS THEIR FOOTING IN THE NEW NORMAL, I CREATED A DIGITAL CARE PACKAGE FOR YOU!
MAY EACH ITEM HAVE A SOOTHING EFFECT ON YOUR MIND, BODY AND SOUL.
WATCH: CARE PACKAGE
STORY: BUNDLES OF CARE
I likened the weather in New York City during the month of August to the description of Hades in classic literature: hot and muggy as hell! However, on this particular Saturday in August, the weather was unseasonably tepid. I welcomed the cool breeze as my parents and I unloaded my belongings from their overstuffed Toyota Corolla into my dorm room.
In true Virgo fashion, I’d requested access to my room prior to moving in and brought exactly what was needed for my side of the room; including storage bins that neatly slide under my bed and a CD rack to house 50 of my most essential albums. As we entered the room, my mom pulled out cleaning supplies and began disinfecting the space. I wiped out all the drawers and lined them with festive contact paper; while my Dad tried to make sense of the 3-armed lamp he was tasked with assembling.
About an hour later, my side of the room was all set. I was elated. However, my parents seemed a bit deflated. I broke the awkward silence with “Doesn’t it look great!” “Yeah, I thought there would be more to do.” replied my Mom. “Why don’t we grab some lunch at the dining hall?” suggested my Dad. “Ok, let’s do it” I chimed in.
After lunch, we walked back to the courtyard in front of my dorm. They kept hugging me and asking “Are you going to be OK?” “Are you sure?”. After what felt like the 15 minutes of them asking questions and me replying ‘Yes’, I wanted to ask “Mom & Dad, are YOU o.k?”, but I could tell they weren’t. We finally said our goodbyes and they lurked in the car until I entered the building.
I put the finishing touches on my bed and sprayed the room with the Bath&Body Works’ cucumber-melon fragrance, which was all rave at the time. As I headed to the bathroom to take a shower, there was a knock at the door.
“Who is it?” The person on the other side replied, Chris. I opened the door and there stood a perky, athletic, gymnastics looking dude wearing a ‘Freshman Pride’ t-shirt holding a stuffed laundry bag.
“Hiya. Are you Nia Fair-weeth...?”
“Yes, I’m Nia Fairweather.”
He replied “Cool. Welcome! This is for you” and extended the laundry bag to me.
“What? What is this?”
“Oh. It’s a care package?”
“From who?”
“I don’t know. Look inside.”
“Ok. Thanks.”
“Cool. Welcome. Bye.”
I closed the door and immediately opened the mystery bundle. I don’t remember the exact words on the note but it said something like. “Congratulations. I hope these items make you feel more at home. Love, Mom”. Of course, Mom!
Inside the laundry bag was a water bottle, a plastic bin of snacks and a t-shirt similar to the one Chris was sporting. In that moment, it clicked. I realized my first night in college marked the entrance of a new space. Them as empty nesters and me as the chick who leapt from the nest.
As promised, my parents called when they got home to make sure I was OK. I said I was fine, but the truth was, college felt like a new planet and I was a little scared. In the months that followed, my college experience proved to be overwhelming and the only thing that felt like home were the care package snacks that I slowly ate through it.
This recessed memory is one of several that came to the forefront of my mind as I hunkered down for the quarantine. The uncertainty, the lack of control and wading through new waters felt familiar.
I live in Los Angeles while my parents live in New York. Hours into the stay-at-home orders, I felt the weight of not physically being in NY to make sure they were OK. I repeatedly grilled them about their preparedness while they replied with variations of “no”. As soon as I hung up the phone, I pulled safety items from my earthquake kit (#virgo) and mailed a care package to them.
As I left the post office, it hit me, I was now the child obsessing as to whether or not my parents are ok. It don’t recall the exact moment where these tables turned, but, it’s clear we’ve entered a new space.
Today, I received a selfie of my Mom and Dad sporting the masks I’d mailed then as I was stuffing my clothes from the dryer into the care package laundry bag which has travelled with me from college, across the world and to Los Angeles. A wave of ease washed over me. Knowing that they were safe and had proper quarantine gear, untied a knot in my chest. My worry was replaced with a smile at the sight of seeing them frolicking by the lake near their home and I realized my Mom’s selfie skills far surpasses mine.
As I reflected on the past, I had a new level of empathy for what they must’ve experienced the first night (and year) of being away at college. The care package they sent was more than snacks for my enjoyment. It was the gift that slowly untied the nest of knots in their chest during that time.
Although, we’ve experienced tremendous amounts of change from my college days to the present day, the exchange of worries remains the same. With time, I’ve come to accept that the concern for the well-being of loved ones never ceases. Each moment of change, be it filled with joy or grief, gives us an opportunity to extend bundles of tendering love care; whether it is the form of an overstuffed laundry bag, emergency N95 masks or a delightful selfie!
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May this story serve as a reminder of the experiences that connects us and the power of caring for each-other in shared moments of grief.
FUEL FOR THOUGHT
“My actions are my only true belongings.””
SOOTHING CHILL TUNES
THE FIRES WITHIN
TEA MEDIATION: 5 minutes (or as long as you want!)
One of my daily practices is tea meditation. If sitting on a yoga mat in silence isn’t your jam, here’s a meditation you can do anytime of the day.
Put or walk away from your devices.
Select a cup & bring your water on to boil.
Take deep cleansing breaths while the water heats up.
Pour hot water over your favorite tea.
As the tea steeps, continue you taking deep steady breaths. Take in tea’s aroma.
Sit in silence as you enjoy every sip of the tea. Take in the flavor and how the heats fills in your body with each sip. Keep a journal nearby as ideas and thoughts my come up during your meditation.
Once you’ve finished the cup, take 3 cleansing breaths as you rinse the cup.
Rinse & Repeat as many times as you need throughout the day.
Try: Adding fresh mint to your tea or simply fresh mint with hot water. Mint’s aroma and the oil released are soothes the body and promote’s mental focus.